He Wants a Submissive Woman: 7 Ways to Respond Without Losing Power
So he just said it.
“I wish you were more submissive.”
Your pulse spikes. Your mind races.
Anger. Confusion. Maybe even a flicker of hurt.
You’re thinking:
“Does he want a doormat? Does he not love me as I am?”
Before you react with something you’ll both regret, just... breathe.
This isn’t about ignoring your feelings.
It’s about responding from your power.
Today, let’s unpack what he might really mean—and I’ll give you 7 ways to respond without losing power.
Because real love isn’t about one person shrinking.
It’s about both of you rising.
What Does He Really Mean by “Submissive”?
Let’s be honest.
Submission is a loaded word.
It conjures images of control, silence, erasure.
And let’s be clear:
Any relationship that asks you to shut up or shrink?
Not healthy. Not sustainable.
But here’s the nuance:
His idea of “submissive” might not match yours.
Maybe he means wanting you to trust him to lead in certain spaces.
Maybe he’s got outdated ideas he’s never examined.
Before you go to war?
Get curious.
That single act moves the conversation from confrontation to clarity.
7 Powerful Ways to Respond Without Losing Power
1: Get Curious, Not Furious.
The most powerful move? Ask calmly:
“Help me understand—what does ‘more submissive’ actually look like to you?”
Don’t assume. Don’t attack.
Let him spell it out.
Because until you know what he means, you’re shadowboxing with your own fears.
2: State Your Non-Negotiables.
Once you understand his definition?
Lay out yours.
“I hear you. Now hear me. For me to feel safe and respected, my voice has to matter just as much as yours.”
This isn’t a threat.
It’s clarity.
Boundaries aren’t walls.
They’re doors you choose who to open for.
3: Aim for Partnership, Not a Power Imbalance.
Healthy love isn’t a hierarchy.
It’s a partnership.
“I see us as a team. Sometimes you lead. Sometimes I do. But big decisions? We make them together.”
This reframes submission as collaboration.
Not about one of you being the boss.
But both of you having each other’s backs.
4: Negotiate Roles, Not Your Identity.
Sometimes submissive is really code for wanting defined roles.
If it feels right, you can explore this without surrendering who you are.
“Let’s talk about it. Maybe you lead on our finances since you’re great with numbers, and I’ll plan our social life.”
You’re negotiating roles, not selling your soul.
True love doesn’t ask you to become less.
If you’re getting value from this, make sure you subscribe to LVLUP Magazine.
We go deep on power dynamics, communication, and how to build partnerships that feel like luxury—for your heart, mind, and life.
5: Keep the Dialogue Open.
Power dynamics aren’t fixed.
You grow. Life changes.
Set the tone for ongoing conversation.
“I’m open to figuring this out with you. But let’s agree to check in often and make sure it still feels good for both of us.”
This stops resentment before it festers.
Because healthy relationships evolve.
6: Say No to a Dictatorship.
There’s a line you don’t cross.
If his idea of submissive is one-sided obedience?
No.
“That will never work for me. I am an equal partner in my own life.”
This isn’t negotiable.
You are not auditioning to be someone’s servant.
7. Own Your Power.
Above all—remember this:
Your worth has nothing to do with your willingness to be small.
“A real partnership helps both of us grow stronger, more confident, more independent.”
A man who truly loves you?
He doesn’t want to dim you.
He wants to see you shine.
Your strength doesn’t compete with his.
It completes the team.
When a man says he wants a submissive woman, it doesn’t have to start a fight.
It can start a real conversation.
About roles.
About respect.
About the kind of partnership you both want.
It’s your chance to move past loaded labels and stand in your power.
Because true love doesn’t come from dominance or submission.
It’s built on respect.
On communication.
On mutual elevation.
If this resonated with you—if you’re ready to master your boundaries, your communication, and your power in love—
Subscribe to LVLUP Magazine.
We’ll show you how to cultivate relationships that respect you, celebrate you, and grow with you.
Because you were never meant to shrink.
You were meant to rise.
💁🏽♀️Vee